Why?

I’m quick-cleaning the house for guests, to gather and celebrate a festival of freedom in which I don’t feel especially free.

What am I even doing this for?

I and the world feel so broken these days.

There is no one to give me the kind of comfort and reassurance I need so badly right now, and I cannot self-hug and self-love my way to finding it.

I feel useless to my Sweetie, who is working so hard to keep us housed and together and who is herself exhausted by it all, and surely by me as well.

Everything feels so hard right now.

Why would I want to make it harder by observing Passover?

And yet, here I am.