Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Finding the others

Many years ago, there was a television show about an adolescent boy who was feeling shunned at school; he was bright, nerdy and definitely not one of the "cool" kids. He was best friends with a girl at school who liked him for who he was, and shared some interests with him (like theater, comic book art, hiking out in the countryside and other things the cool kids weren't generally drawn to). The two were each other's supports at school where both were thought of was weird and outcast, and there was a vague hint of something other than friendship out there in the future.

One day, the boy came home to find his parents in a frenzy of packing. "We have to leave tonight," his mother told him. "Go gather some things and pack your suitcase. I'll explain everything when your father gets home." The explanation was that the boy and his parents weren't humans at all, but another species who'd been sent to Earth to quietly live among humans and learn about them. His father had worked on earth as a scientist, but he was actually an explorer, and there was a fully functioning spaceship buried in a silo under the family's barn; this family was one of the go-to families for when the time came to return to their home planet.

The boy was shocked. His parents had come to Earth before he was born, so this human life was all he'd ever known. He asked his mother what life on the home planet was like, and his mother reassured him. "It's really beautiful there. You know how you like to go hiking n the hills around our town? Well, there are plenty of amazing, beautiful places you can hike there, too." The boy listened as his mother went on: "And we have our own language. It's beautiful. I'll help you learn it when we return."

"Tell me something in your language," the boy said. His mother obliged by saying she loves him, and he said, "It is beautiful. It sounds like a flowing water."

But the boy is also sad. Because the girl is his best friend in the whole world and he doesn't want to leave her. When he thinks of this he gets very upset, runs off to his room and locks the door.

The family gathered inside the spaceship with other families, all talking excitedly with each other. The boy sat glumly in a corner, still sad about leaving his best friend and the only life he'd ever known. It wasn't an easy life, especially among kids his age, but it was still a life, and he had no idea what he'd find on this other world where he'd have to start all over. He was scared and angry and very sad.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees his best friend walking towards him.
"I knew it!" she exclaimed. I just knew you had to be one of us too!"
They embraced and laughed and talked all night, looking forward to their new adventures. together.

(and fade)

*******

The more people I share my ADHD diagnosis with, the more I have found that a surprising number of them are also neurospicy, either with ADHD or some form of autism, or both.
And I suddenly remembered that old TV program, and realized that, even with a lifetime of masking, I had still found quite a few other neurospicy folks along the way, even if I or we hadn't known it at the time.

So I guess it is true that you and your people find each other, given enough time and honesty.

And in the midst of a momentary feeling of sadness and/or self-doubt tonight, I remembered that story and immediately felt better.

You will find your people, and they will find you.
Just have a little faith.

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